Understandably, there has been a lot of concern about the recent teen suicides in the Palo Alto community.  First and foremost, my condolences go out to the teens, their families, their friends, and the community. Also, I want to emphasize that I am not a suicidologist. However, I am a therapist and I have provided counseling to children, teens, young adults, and women for over 8 years. As a therapist, I primarily work with anxiety, depression, grief and loss, and anxiety. Sometimes these difficulties, and others, may result in feelings of hopelessness, isolation, and lead to suicidal thoughts.

Losing anyone to suicide, and especially a child, is an unimaginable tragedy. After losing a loved one to suicide, or learning about a suicide in our community, people often search for explanations. Suicide is an extremely complex behavior that is not cause by one factor. It often includes multiple factors, and it is often impossible to pinpoint a singular cause. Nevertheless, there is help for individuals who are suicidal. Even if your child or teen does not say they are suicidal, if they are struggling with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse issues, isolating , or expressing feelings of hopelessness, there are many effective mental health services to help with these concerns.

Suicide is not a new problem, but it is unfortunately more common that many people would like to believe. Despite all the advances in mental health services, and the high rate of suicides in the United States, stigma and lack of awareness continue to be barriers to mental health treatment. Many people experience issues such as anxiety, depression, or other sources of suffering in their lifetime. Seeking professional counseling services is not a sign of weakness. It actually takes a lot of courage, and effective counseling can be beneficial for many emotional and behavioral concerns.

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. It is the 2nd leading cause of death among 15-34 year olds. This means that it is the 2nd leading cause of death for high school students and young adults in the United States (statistics were taken from the Suicide Prevention Resource Center at www.sprc.org). Therefore, suicide is a significant issue among young people throughout the United States.

When someone commits suicide, the tragedy impacts family, friends, and the community tremendously. The person that commits suicide may be someone’s child, someone’s sibling, someone’s grandchild, someone’s friend, etc. Family members will forever grieve the loss of their loved one; they will often have questions that will never be answered. Peers begin to question their own mortality, and wonder why and how someone so young could die.

Sometimes people will have an explanation for why the suicide occurred. However, more often than not, there will be many unanswered questions. Why did he/she commit suicide? Were there any warning signs? What else could’ve been done? Unfortunately, a full determination of the cause is usually not possible because as I previously mentioned, suicide is an extremely complicated behavior, and it usually involves multiple causes.

However, there are risk factors, protective factors and warning signs.  Major risk factors include mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and access to lethal means, physical illness, recent losses, and local clusters of suicide. Protective factors include effective mental health services, feeling connected to family, friends, school, or community, well developed problem solving skills.

What are the warning signs for suicide? If your child or teen, or someone you know is talking about feeling hopeless, having no reason to live, talking about wanting to commit suicide or die, and developing a plan about how to commit suicide then you should be very concerned. If you have noticed any of these signs in yourself, your child, teenager, or someone you know, you should immediately call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK, or contact a mental health professional.

Other warning signs may be less obvious, especially in children and teens. Children and teens may withdraw, feel isolated and/or isolate themselves, express feeling like they are in immense pain, feel or act anxious, engage reckless or unusual behaviors, have disrupted sleep patterns: too much sleep, or very little sleep, express anger or rage, have mood swings, or increase the use of alcohol or drugs.

If you are concerned about your or your child’s mood or behavior, you should contact a mental health professional to discuss your situation, and see whether counseling or psychotherapy would be beneficial. Palo Alto and the County of Santa Clara have a variety of mental health services available for children, teens, and adults.  Finally, if you have lost a loved one to suicide, there are also mental health services and support groups available for bereavement, and grief and loss. You do not need to suffer alone.

If you are interested in counseling for your teen, or yourself, you can contact me at 650-529-5188 for a free telephone consultation. I return all messages within 24 hours. I offer daytime, evening, and Saturday therapy appointments in my Palo Alto office.

The following are some additional mental health resources:

Santa Clara County 24 Hour Crisis Hotline: 800-704-0900

Suicide and Crisis Center (SACS) 1-855-278-4204 Toll-Free Hotline

National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1 -800-Suicide

24 Hour Parent Support Helpline (650) 579-0358

24 Hour Youth Hotline: (650) 579-0350

Domestic Violence Help: (650) 599-7330

Alcohol and Drug Helpline: (650) 573-3950